i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
