then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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