ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
