My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Randomize
