omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
