And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize