Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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