can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
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You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
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We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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