Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
