i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Randomize
