haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize