3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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