So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
