Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You're a waste of cheezeits
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
