my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Randomize
