last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
