I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Randomize
