Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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