Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize