Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Randomize
