why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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