At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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