Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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