I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
