I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Randomize
