I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
