And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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