i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Randomize
