I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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