I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
