its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
