OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
