so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
