i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
