I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Houston, we have a squirter
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
