wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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