one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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