dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
