Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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