If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
