Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We just shotgunned beers for America
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
