Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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