Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
