i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I just found puke in my bra..
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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