Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
