therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
You ruined the universe
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
