I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
