i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Randomize
