i just made my gag reflex go away.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
