What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
So much rum. So many feels.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Randomize
