Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize