suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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