I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
