There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize