you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
