from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
