i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
