just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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