you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
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Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize