did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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