pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
