I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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