Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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