Pregnant stripper...not hot.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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