its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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