so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
Randomize
