The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
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