margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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